Today is day 18, Ali and I have been relocated for the next 4 hours. The apartment I have been living in, and stupidly signed a year lease for is roach infested. I nearly lost it on Friday which I am sure didn’t help my day 14 depression.

Since I moved into this joint, 18 days ago I have been complaining about the roaches. At first I thought it was not that bad, and was hopeful it would be taken care of in a timely manner since that is how things happen in NY. How wrong I was!  Friday I was getting ready to meet my cousin, when a roach, a dirty disgusting roach, crawled on my leg. I have been calm until this moment when I began screaming. I refused to live like this anymore. I am paying rent to live here. I will not live like I am a homeless man. After talking over the situation with my mom, family, friends and a random dude I met at the bar I called Connie, the manager of the building. I told her the situation, and I am not living like this anymore.  If this is not taken care of ASAP I am moving, and I want my full deposit back. It’s only been 2 weeks, and this is disgusting. No one should live like this.

She said, “Oh, I am so sorry. Is it that bad?”

To which, if you know me I wanted to say, no I am making it up!  I said, “It’s horrible. I came from NY, where roaches are out of control and never dealt with this. I will not deal with this here.”

She said, “Ok, I will tell Mr. Simon.”  Mr. Simon is the owner of the building, who Connie has told me doesn’t like to spend money. No one likes to spend money, but your tenants should not have to live like homeless people.

I know I tend to exaggerate, but I will be honest this is one situation in my life I am far from exaggerating. I have killed way over 20 a day, and more than one a day is out of control.

I starting to FREAK OUT. I don’t want to live in a roach infested, studio. It’s bad enough I am sleeping on an air mattress, where the roaches could crawl on me. After the situation on Friday, I have not been able to sleep thinking something is crawling on me. It’s a horrible feeling.  I called Connie again on Sunday. She told me she left Mr. Simon a message. He doesn’t have a cell phone. I said well this situation needs to be taken care of immediately or I will move out. She apologized over and over again. I know it’s not her fault but she is the link I have to Mr. Simon. So I have to call her and tell her how I feel.  She told me as soon as she hears from Mr. Simon she will call me back. Connie never calls me back so I knew this would most likely not happen.

I called her again on Monday, and left a message. I told her this situation is out of control. I feel like I am being taken advantage of. I will not stay here much longer. I told her I am not able to sleep since I feel like something is constantly crawling on me. I told her it’s so bad, that when I unroll paper towels, roaches fall out. I told her if this is not taken care of, I will have no choice but to call the housing department (thank you random guy I met at the bar).  I reminded her rent is due the first and I was not paying until this was taken care of.

Finally, I called again Tuesday around 5. She answered and told me she spoke to Mr. Simon and they would be bombing tomorrow. Hello! What if I didn’t call her?! Now, I am pissed off, and cranky because I am not sleeping! She told me they will be at my apartment at 11am tomorrow. I need to leave the apartment for 4 hours with the cat, and put all my food into the fridge.  I agreed of course, but was pissed. I need to give this a shot, I signed a lease for a year! What the heck was I thinking?

I am sure the roaches will come back. I will fingers crossed be able to get out of the lease, and find a fabulous one bedroom in West Hollywood with a parking spot and possibly a pool!  I am sure I just convinced everyone who was going to come visit me, not to, but by the time anyone comes this will all be taken care. By taken care of, I mean I will be in a new place--- Hopefully!

I woke up this morning and was rushing to get everything ready for the great bombing of 2009. I could not get up since I could not sleep again. I was half asleep, went to drink my coffee when I realized the milk was bad. Now I am pissed off, cranky and caffeine deprived which is NEVER a good combination. They were 30 minutes late which nearly made me jump off a cliff since I needed coffee. I didn’t run to get milk thinking they would be there at 11. Thankfully I didn’t put Ali in her bag until they came, otherwise she would have been in her carrier for 4 and a half hours. 

Mr. Simon gets there and tells me I need to take everything off the floor in the closet. I am pretty sure I gave him the look of death. Are you kidding me? Why didn’t anyone tell me this before?!  The guy who starts spraying the chemicals right near Ali’s bag, I nearly lost it. I was doing my best to remain calm. Hello! Can you see there is an animal in there?! Chill out. I am leaving this roach infested shit hole. 

After all the vet appointments getting Ali ready for the move, she better not get sick from this roach situation.

This day started off sucky, but hopefully it will improve. I walked 5 blocks east to the Starbucks, where I was finally able to get a cup of Joe. I am feeling much better now after a cup of coffee and writing about my roach adventures. Ali and I are off doing our fun thing today. I pray she behaves in her carrier, if not I am going to call Kevin who was nice enough to offer to come get me.

Fingers crossed this situation is rectified before I loose it!!!