I spent the last 2 weekends home in NJ spending time with my mom, friends and family. It has been great relaxing in the ‘burbs, hanging out at the pool, and having quality time with my mom. Being home, makes me sad I am leaving. As much as I know this move will be awesome, and I know I need to try it, I am FREAKING OUT!  I am terrified everything I know will never be the same again, wondering why I want to get away from a good life, an amazing city, and all I have ever known. I can’t imagine missing out on birthdays, weddings, births.

I wonder why am I doing this to myself. Then I think you are doing this because you have wanted to move since you were 5, most likely earlier! It has been at least 25 years in the making. I might as well try, and see what happens. I have huge dreams most of the time it take me time to put them into action, here is a prime example. It’s taken 25 years for me to get the guts to make the move, and yet at times I think I need more time, more time! It’s not really an option. I am not getting any younger. I want to go out there, and try it out. If I hate it, I can still come home and know I tried it. I never am one to not try things, even though I freak out! I know I don’t want to regret not going. I wish that meant I would not freak out!

But sadly I need to go through the emotions, and know no matter what things will work out. Hopefully for the better!