DailyFreakOut

10) City Life. The city that never sleeps, always something to do, and a fun adventure to be had!

9) Driving. Never having to drive. It has nice not to have to worry about who is driving, where to park, oil changes, etc. While I am starting to miss driving, I know I am going to miss walking, subways, buses and cabs. I have not had to drive in 5 years, arg. This transition should be interesting.

8) The hustle and bustle of city life. Running to meetings, to catch the subway, the bus, flagging down a cab, or walking. It’s always a rush to get around.

7) Tourist spots. I never thought I would say this, but I will the tourist spots (not the tourists, of course!).  I will miss the view from the Top of the Rock, the Statue of Liberty, South Street Sea Port, West Village, Central Park, SoHo, museums, Botanical Garden, Broadway shows, Charity Walks etc.

6) Restaurants. There is always a new place to try, a new hip cuisine. NYC is filled with amazing restaurants it’s impossible to eat at them all.

5) Free events. There are always free concerts, free screenings, free nights at the museum, free days at the zoo, the botical garden. If you have a will, you can certainly find something free to do!

4) The Jersey Shore! Year, after year I had the best time at the shore! I know the beaches of CA are amazing, but it won’t be the same since my friends won't be there. New memories will have to be made!

3) Not working! I have loved nearly every second of not working. It’s back to the daily grind.

2) BarNoneGreatParties! While I am still going to run BarNoneGreatParties from LA it not is the same. I won’t always see my clients, or my bartenders. I will greatly miss everyone involved in BNGP. I am so thankful for all their support while BNGP has grown.

1) Loved ones. Without a doubt, I am going to miss my mom, family, and friends the most. Any second thoughts I have about the move are due to knowing how much I will miss everyone.  I am terrified of not finding a place or friends in LA. I know how lucky I am to have such a great support here. I hope I find my place in LA.

I have lived in New York City for 5 years, and have not until yesterday explored Central Park. It took me being jobless, and about to move cross country to finally explore. I was completely in awe of the vast nature of this park. You feel like you are in the woods in certain parts and then in a romantic setting a few steps away. Each part has such vast history, and now with audio tour you really get a chance to know about the history of the park. I walked around the lake, went to the Ramble, saw the Bow Bridge which reminded me of Paris. Who knew an area of Central Park would remind me of Paris?! I finally saw Strawberry Fields! I was so excited, and can not wait to explore more!


I truly love NYC!

This weekend was one of my very good friend’s weddings. We have known each other since the 5^th grade, but close for about the past 7 years or so. Needless to say we have known each other for a lifetime it feels.  She is the 4^th friend of my high school crew to get married. It was not as emotional as the other 3, maybe cause I am used to this by now, or I have accepted my faith of always being the one attending the weddings.

It was such a pleasure to be apart of Shannon and Brian’s path to happily ever after. The moment Shannon met Brian she knew he was “the one”. I have seen many boyfriends come in and out of her life but Brian was different. The moment she met him she could not stop talking about him. I was dying to meet him. Within a few months I traveled to Hoboken to meet them for brunch. From that moment on, I knew he was the one for her. They fit together perfectly. They have similar personalities, similar families, similar hearts. They are so accepting of everyone, and want nothing but happiness for everyone around them.

The wedding was one of the most beautiful affairs I have ever been to. The room was filled of love, and happiness. It was really about the meshing of two families becoming one.

I caught the bouquet. If you know me, you know how shocking this is. I am the least athletic people you will ever meet. I caught the bouquet with a perfect catch. When she was tossing it, all I could think was I am going to catch this. When I won a trip to Ireland in a hot potato contest, I kept thinking I am going to win this trip, and I did. This catch lead me to believe I need to be more positive and believe in myself more. If I can believe I will catch the bouquet why can’t I believe I will make it in LA or anything else I put my mind to.

Lori, another friend I have known forever, got married 3 years ago today. After I caught the bouquet she is convinced I am next to get married. She said it will be June, 3 years from now. She said Shannon didn’t know Brian 3 years ago, and look at them now. It’s nice she is so positive about me meeting someone. I am open to things. You never know what will happen, as they say everything happens for a reason. Only time will tell!

Whit, myself and Amy at a picnic in April

I am a warm weather person. I have always loved the summer, the warm rays on my skin, love the sun. I love every aspect of summer.

It is June 17^th, and it’s to cold for me to sit outside and write. It should be in the high 70’s low 80’s by now! The weather has been so funky lately. Seriously 8 out of 10 days it rains, and the days it’s not raining it’s in the 60’s. Where is the warm weather I wait all year for? I thought we would have a warm summer after we hit the 90’s in April. That heat wave was so delightful. I miss those days of the warm sun. It was such a tease. I am so ready to go to the beach, wear bathing suits (maybe not so much), picnic, rollerblade, go to gardens, bike ride, and outdoor movies. I am ready to enjoy my summer!!!! Yes, I am aware it is only June but I am ready for my summer.

I would like to write to Mother Nature. If I did it would go something like this,

Dearest Mother Nature,  

Please be kind to us Northeasterners, bring on the summer we wait all year for! After one of the coldest winters I can remember, we need to warm up. We have earned it. Please don’t fail us!

Very kindly,
Pamela

Lately, I have been having my doubts about LA, but this weather is making me wish I was there right now.

Every since the moment I turned 20 I asked for a surprise party for my 30^th birthday. Every chance I got I would say something about my surprise party, and for years I knew my mom was planning to have a fabulous party for me. Just over a year ago, I told my mom I didn’t want a party anymore. We were officially in a recession, and thought spending money on a surprise was not the best idea. I remember the moment I told my mom, it was as though the air was deflated from her. I instantly felt bad. I told Whitney what I did, and said well maybe she really wanted to plan a party. Knowing my mom, she really did want to plan a party for me. It had been years since she had thrown me a party. It was due time, in her mind I am sure.

Even though I asked for my mom not to throw me a party, I knew I would have one. I really wanted to be surprised but being surprised was going to be hard for me since I am very observant. I pay attention to everything. I know all, even when I am not trying to. I am a very good listener. I just pay attention.

About a month ago, Lynne emailed me. She asked me to come to a charity dinner Jason’s (her boyfriend) company was having on June 6^th. Jason lives in LA so I would be able to meet people before my move. Right away, my senses were up. I knew it was for my party, and this was there ploy to get me to get me there. I agreed to come to the dinner. Right away I saw holes in there story. Jason was not coming in for this event, but all his family was going to be there from Long Island. They were having a dinner in LA for the same thing so he didn’t need to come, but his roommate from LA was coming. I just went along with the story. Lynne tried her very best to throw me off. We went to lunch on birthday, and she told me that I should not be risqué since Rabbi’s would be there.  I thought, um good try my friend. For a split second I believed her, but only for a second.

I had a birthday happy hour on May 29^th.  I was so relaxed about it. It didn’t bother me at all if people didn’t come. I knew they would be at my party the following week. I decided last year I would not stress about my birthday this year. It’s just not worth it. I am so over stressing out over things that are not that important. My friends asked me what I was doing the following weekend, and I told them I was going to a dinner with Lynne. She wanted me to meet LA people. I can not lie easily to my friends and family. I used to but as I got older I have lost all ability to lie. When I talk to people I am always looking into your eyes. I love eye contact. It makes some people uncomfortable but I love it. When I was telling the details of the dinner, I was looking down. Right there should have been a hint I knew about the party. I didn’t want to look into my friend's eyes and start laughing. Knowing me it was a real possibility. I needed to continue to allow people to think I didn’t know what was going on.

About a week before the party, I got this email from Lynne:

Hi! How was your party??? Amy said she had a lot of fun, so sorry I missed it.

See below: looks like you will be meeting my future in-laws! Jason's mom emailed me today...

>>> XXXX@aol.com> 6/1/2009 1:51 PM>>

Hey,

Jason told me you will be there on Saturday! We got a table, but there are only 6 of us going and it is a table for 10 (Me, Bob, my Mom and Dad, Susie and Roy). I know Jason said you would be at Jordan's table (which will probably be more fun) but feel free to table hop!

How are you getting there? We are driving but Jason said you are taking the Water Taxi? If you like, we can drop you back in the city on our way back.

Looking forward to seeing you!

xoxo di

I started laughing as soon as I got the email. For a split second again I thought maybe the party is not for me. Once I got over that, I knew it was a shame. It was sweet to see how hard she was trying to help me believe the dinner was really happening and not my party. I told her how excited I was, and could not wait to meet new LA people.

Around the same time, it seemed as though all my friends fell off the planet. I heard from no one. I am in constant contact with my friends, and mom but this week I heard from no one expect Annebelle who was visiting, Whitney (who I talk to everyday on im, if I didn’t hear from her it would have been so obvious) and Christine (who was coming to spend the weekend when Annebelle arrived). It was as though people didn’t want to slip.

Some people think I knew about the party because Annebelle was visiting. That is not the case. We planned her visit about 6 months ago. It has become a tradition for her to come up when Shakespeare in the Park in playing. The play happens to over lap with the party so she was thankfully able to come to both.

I am very observant, and knew half the things people said they were doing June 6^th was not true at all. A very good friend of mine has twins. Whenever they have something to do she tells me who is watching the girls, and how hard it is to find someone to watch them if her mother-in-law is not available. She mentioned having something to so June 6^th, but didn’t say anything about what she is doing with the girls. I knew then the something was for me!

My party was everything I could have asked for and more. I loved the restaurant my mom chose. It was outside of Manhattan with the most amazing view of the city including the Statue of Liberty. I was so happy to see all my close friends where there, and my mom. The family I have created for myself over the years was all present and accountant for. My cousins were a no show, but I would not expect anything more from them. We are not really family, only through blood, not by anything else. If I need anything I know I could never count on them. My family is my friends and my mom. I have the best family anyone could ever ask for.  

The party was filled with love, laugher, and memories both new and old. It was a time for new friends to meet old ones, and for friends to get reconnected. I felt lucky so many people cared about me to celebrate my 30^th year. They all tried so hard to keep this a surprise from me. Despite figuring it out, I still know how hard they all worked to make my birthday the most amazing ever!

My mom really did an amazing job, from the invitations, to the cake, to the food and her speech. It really made me realize how loved I am. I know how proud she is of me, and I am so thankful I have her. I used to wish I had siblings but the older I get the more I realize life is how it is meant to be for a reason. My life would be entirely different. I would not be as close to my mom as I am. I am very thankful for all I have, and for all I have yet to accomplish.

Here is to the next 30 years, I hope they are as eventful and happy as the first. Thank you to all my friends who helped my mom put my amazing party together.  I am so thankful for all of you.

I have been so uninspired for the past few weeks. I have been uninspired by my move to LA, to write, really to do anything.

I am moseying on by uninspired. I am not sure what my deal is. For months, even years I have been all about my move. I could not wait for it to come and get the heck out of New York City. Then Memorial Day weekend came and I have fallen head over heels in love with my Northeast again. Oh how I love this time of year. I love the beach, the pool, my friends, love being outside, love the outdoor movies, love Central Park. I love it all. Now I almost can’t imagine not being here.

As one of my best friends says, how can you not love New York this time of year? I can not, not love it!!! It’s so magical and pleasant. I wish it was like this all the time. If it was this nice here all the time I would never leave. I hate the cold. I hate having to wear bulky coats, sweaters, hats and gloves. I love my flip flops, shorts, bathing suits, sundresses and not wearing a coat. I love the sun, and the 90 degree days. I love it all.

California has always been a beautiful place where the sun shines most days. I am always happy being there. I love every part of it. I used to want to be in LA to be closer to my Bubie, and Aunt Gussie. Sadly, I didn’t make there while they were still living. I know they are always in my heart, and being in LA makes me feel closer to them in a weird way.

I think I am still moving, but I am just not into it right now. I am so glad I changed the move date from July 1^st to unknown. I am thinking August 15^th maybe even September. July came so fast, and I was not ready to move. I was feeling such anxiety. I need to feel 100% comfortable about the move.

Maybe I should have never went to Hamptons. If I never went I don’t think I would have ever thought about changing the move date. The Hamptons made me realize how much I love this time of year, how awesome NYC is when the sun is shinning.

The closer the move comes, the more I realize how much I am going to miss my friends and my mom. I really thought moving didn’t matter. If you were my true friends, it would not matter. We would visit, Skype, Facebook, text, and call each other. The more I realize what I am going to miss the harder moving seems to be. I am going to miss hanging out with my friends, going to the beach with them, brunch, picnics, happy hours, etc. I am going to miss seeing babies born, seeing babies walk, talk, become little people. I am going to miss getting mani/pedis with my mom, go shopping with her, and of course going to Broadway shows.

I really thought so what. I need to live my life and not depend on my mom. I need to explore new things, and see what happens. I have lived my entire life for her, but now I see she has lived her entire life for me. Maybe it’s a little self-centered and disheartened to believe leaving the Northeast doesn’t matter, and it won’t change my relationship with people.

I still think I need to explore living in LA, and see what happens. Perhaps I will be the happiest I have ever been, perhaps I will find my life’s goal or I hate it and just come home, but at least I will know.

As my doubts mount, I still feel like I need to try this move, and explore all my possibilities. I am not getting any younger. It’s now or never!

Last week I went to happy hour the night of my birthday. The bartender knew it was my birthday, and proceeded to give us shots mostly tequila. Needless to say I was a little buzzed, and rightfully so since it was my birthday!

I went out with my friend to keep her company while she smoked. In a blink of an eye, literally, I see Justin Long slip into the doorway where we were standing. I know he was trying to be nonchalant, but that is not an option when around a star stuck buzzed birthday girl. For some of you who don’t really know me, I love entertainment, love stars, and have always wanted to work for an entertainment magazine or TV show. I normally can control myself and act somewhat cool, but buzzed birthday girl cannot!

Without thinking I say, “Justin Long. Are you Justin Long?”

“Yes.”

“I love your work. You are so funny, and down to earth. I really love the movies you have been in, plus the Mac guy –Fabulous.” Being buzzed birthday girl I stupidly proceed, and say “I can name three movies you have been in.”

“That is not necessary.”

I told him it was my birthday, and of course he wished me a happy one and agreed to take a picture with me. My friend was chatting away preoccupied to take the picture so Justin Long took it.

This encounter was a fabulous way to start my birthday year. I was so excited.

When I was returning home from my last trip to LA, I saw Penn Badgley (from Gossip Girl) in LAX arriving from NY. I was eating lunch, took 2 bites, threw it away and proceed to walk quickly to meet him. I got a blurry snapshot of him. Properly lucky for him and I guess myself he got away. 

These encounters made me realize when I am living in LA, I need to be more relaxed about seeing celebrities. I am sure I will see them all the time, while it will be very exciting for me, I need to be chill about it.

For my sake I hope this excitement never ends. That will only mean I have accepted reality.

For all the people who will be my friends in LA, I apologize in advance for any embarrassing I may cause you.

Ali at the vet. It's always an experience.

Last week I took Ali to the vet for the third time. After giving her subcutaneous fluid treatment for the past ten days (The subcutaneous fluid treatment looks like an IV bag.), her antibiotic, an appetite stimulator, and changing her food she is improving! I saw a difference in her as soon as I gave her the first treatment. That fluid is amazing.

I got to say the subcutaneous fluid treatment took some getting used to. I was poking myself, bleeding, and all the meds were spraying on the wall. I knew I was not meant to be a nurse or a doctor. By day three I had the treatment down to a science. Thankfully it seems as though Ali doesn’t know what is going on until I am done, and let’s out a small cry.

The vet said she was improving, and wanted to do another blood test. I really didn’t think it was necessary to poke her anymore. We already know she has kidney disease. How much different will it be by now? Plus, I really can’t afford it. I have spent so much money on Ali in the past 3 weeks. Ali is improving so much that fluid treatment doesn’t have to be done everyday anymore. She only needs it 2 times a week.

The good news is Ali seems to be much happier, healthier, even her fur is silkier. She gained a half a pound which is fabulous. When I first took her to the vet she was seven pounds down from ten. Of course the vet was concerned. Thankfully she is gaining weight!

She seems much happier, and her whinny cries have nearly stopped. I think she is feeling better! Thankfully!

I have been having a love/hate relationship with NYC for awhile. Now that I have decided to move, my relationship has changed from love/hate to more of a strong dislike 8 out of 10 times! I am so over being here.

There are days when I leave my apartment in the best mood, within minutes I am discussed by something.

Slow moving tourists kill me! Get out of my way! Seriously! Is there a reason why you must stand still in the middle of a sidewalk? Sidewalks are meant for walking, not standing still. MOVE . . .OUT . . .OF . . .MY . . .WAY!

When I first moved here I was so thankful I didn’t have to drive anymore. Now I cannot wait until I have a car again. Not only can waiting for the subway be really annoying but you can’t understand half of the announcements. You wait, and wait and realize maybe the announcement was saying there is no train!!! There is 30 minutes of my life I will never get back. Thank you MTA!

If you get on a subway, there are no peaceful rides anymore. Everyone is either begging for money, or performing. What happened to the days of silent ride when I could actually read my book without having a trumpet blow in my ear?

I am so over not having a car! I never thought I would say those words! Not having to drive was one of the things I loved when I first moved here but 6 years after living here I am over it! I am over carrying 5 grocery bags, and thinking why I bought so much food AGAIN! I am over carrying my stuff miles and miles just to get to a subway, and then still miles to get home! I yearn for the day when I put my packages in my car, and drive to my door without hauling them throughout the city.

Oh NYC, how I love to dislike you right now. I know I will miss you so, but right now I am not a fan of you NYC.