The move is getting closer and closer. My mom would like me to be believed that she completely supports this move, even has told me she will visit for Thanksgiving.

Support, what an understandment? I would like to think she is ok and somewhat supportive of this move but the closer I get to the move, I don’t think that is the case. The difference is now she is not yelling at me, or emailing me harsh words she is prending to be ok with everything. She is completely using reverse psychology!  Last night was the perfect example. I called her to vent about the issues I am having about finding an apartment. I can admit now, this was stupid. I should know even though she is saying she supports me, she really wants me to stay here.  I start telling her how I am not sure what to do. I can get an unfurnished apartment and a lease or try and get an sublet still and then move my NY furniture out there. I am not feeling doubts. I am just feeling a little stress not knowing where I am going to live.

She starts saying “Well Pamela, maybe this is not the best time to move. California’s economy is in a really bad state. They made a special for it on TV and everything. I am not sure this is the best idea.”

 I was thinking “oh no, they didn’t not a TV show on the CA economy! That show is not going to help my case.” So I tell her, if I wait for the economy in California to get back to it being perfect it could be 10 years from now, and I may never go.  My life will be different then and I will regret not trying this. She is silent, and then says “Fine Pamela, Whatever you want to do.”

I hang up the phone soon after. I am annoyed at myself. How could I really think she would support my move 100%! Hello, that would never happen.  A Jewish mom, only knows that of what she wants. She will guilt me to stay or come home until the day she dies (god forbid). I know this is not going to be an easy decision, but I must stay strong and believe for myself this is right. I know in my heart it is. I can only hope she will understand, and retire in Palm Springs.