My mom and I at her birthday party

After I finally emailing my mom the details to the plan, the backlash was fast and furious. The emails kept coming from her, one more annoyed then the next. Below are the emails. I had to share them with everyone.

Email 1: (I initially asked her to come with me to LA in June to set things up. Since then I changed my mind on going out in June) Right now it is impossible for me to go in June.....I have way too much here to do..that is why I do not take vacation that time of year.

I cannot afford the trip......and this is your INDEPENDENT idea therefore, fly solo.

I really do not have much room in the condo......since I have refurbished it to accommodate my things......I do not like clutter as you know.

(There are empty closets throughout the condo)

My response: That's fine. I didn't expect you to come. You always told me I can come home, so what does it matter if I bring my things home and not me? It won't be cluttered. It won't even be a lot of stuff.

Email 2 Subject: Mother’s Day From my mom to me This has nothing to do with yesterdays emails….and thank you for not calling last night.

I do not want to see you on Mothers Day…….I thought about it the best present is to leave me a day by myself. (She lives alone, everyday she is by herself)

I am supportive of your decision of your move to LA, however, do not expect me to keep your things in my home, or to bail you out.  I want to live a life now that is selfish and do for myself………I have always put you before everything and everyone……now it is my turn to enjoy my life.

You are an ADULT even though you do want to be……make your decisions and be careful not to hurt others along the way, whether it is financially or their feelings.

As I said yesterday "Good Luck"


My response: Thank you for your support. I will make other arrangements for my winter clothes.

Email 3 Subject Re: Mother’s Day Good I am happy to hear it.......and the support you give me is slim to none.

How does it feel?

Email 4: Same subject line (a few minutes later) Another thing is that your answer is nothing more or less then I expect from you.......I guess you did not really read what I wrote or took the time to digest it and understand what I was saying......this is typical of you being "Self Centered" (Part of her email had to do with her relationship with her boyfriend which I didn’t think was important to include here)

I am amazed at the fact that you think $250 is nothing......this is your Father's attitude......him first and what he wanted and Fuck everyone else.....I have bills to you see me going on vacation.......I work very hard everyday......exhausted at the end of the day.......and still like a jerk was sympathetic to you and your issues.........I am supportive of your decision of moving to LA or where ever you want.......just do not expect me to be the money bags you think I am.

My response: (I wanted 6 days to respond to calm down, and speak from my heart)


You are being ridiculous! Calm down. I didn't go through every line of your email because I felt it was ridiculous. It does not mean I am self centered. Relax. I am not going into your emails line by line. There is no need. I see how you feel, and you have every right to feel any way you do. As am I.

I understand your concern for me, and my future. I need to try this. I need to be able to see what happens. I do not want to stay here, and wake up one day and regret not going. Right now, if I don't go I will regret it. I need to see what happens. I can hate it, and come home in 2 months. Who knows? At least I tried it.

I do feel money is money. I always think money can be made again, but experiences can only happen once. I want to live a life I will not regret.

I am coming home Mother's Day weekend, whether you like it or not! I will be home either Fri or Sat morning. I am making us appointments to get our nails done, and then we will go to dinner. Sunday we will go to breakfast. I will come back to the city Sunday, so you can have Mother's day to yourself, as you requested.

I hope you are able to see my side of this situation. I need to be my own person, and try something that I have been talking about since I was 8. If you do not fully support me, please do not rip me apart; don't share how I am going to fail. I need to do this, and can not bare to hear it’s the wrong. You have your own opinion.

I love you, and that will not change. You have to let me finally be my own person without guilt.


Her response: OK

I was terrified to open to her final email. Enough is enough already. I didn’t want to be bullied anymore. My mom has been bulling me to do the things she wants my entire life.

Since this email exchange we have not spoke at all, until today when I was ironing out details for Mother’s Day. I am going this weekend to spend time with her. This should be very interesting. I will be blogging all about it!