Finally after months of figuring out "The Plan" I knew I had to tell my mom the details especially since the move date is July 1st. I was dreading this day. I went home for Passover, and decided I would talk to her about "The Plan." As I normally am with my mom, I kept putting off the talk all weekend long. I hate dealing with her guilt trips and her thinking I am not grateful for everything she has ever did for me. I know how great my mom is, but that does not mean I should be able to grow and live my own life.

Finally, I decided on the drive back to New York City I would go over the details. I knew it was risky since I was going to be alone with her in the car, but I needed to have this talk with her.

As luck might have it, the night before the drive to NYC, the hose on the washing machine ripped, water quickly filled the condo. Thankfully, the fire alarm went off. Otherwise we would never have known what was going on since we were in the TV room with the door shut. To make matters worse, my mom had just remodeled the entire condo with gorgeous wood floors. I have never seen her move so fast in my life. It was complete craziness. The floor was ruined, and we were in shock! The next day the entire floor had to be pulled up to prevent mold. Thankfully it is just money, no one was killed. The floor can be replaced.

My mom was in no place to be hearing “The Plan” now.

I think I was a little thankful I didn’t have to go over “The Plan” face to face with her. Now I could email her the details, and not have the pleasure of seeing her face when she is yelling at me “The Plan” will fail! I will fail. Yes, my mom can be so loving, sometimes. (sense the sarcasm) A few days later, I finally emailed her all the details to “The Plan,” only because she asked me about it. I think I would have waited another week or two if I could have! I thought (or hoped) she would have read my email, and be supportive, say something like, “Wow, you have really thought about everything.” I must seriously have thought I was watching a movie. Those words would never come out of my mom’s mouth. Never. Ever.

In email I suggested her coming out to LA to help with the transition. I wanted her to be apart of this journey so she didn’t think I was abandoning her. The thing is for the past 17 years it has been just me and my mom. I don’t have any siblings. We are the only family we have so I know this move is very hard on her. She completely shot down my idea of her coming to help me in LA, saying this is my INDEPENDENT idea and so I must to everything solo. She also refused to store any of my winter clothes in the condo, saying she doesn’t have room for my stuff. Meanwhile, ever since I lost my job she told me I can always come home if I can’t afford my rent. What is the difference between me moving home or my stuff being there? I know there is plenty of space considering there are empty closets.

The emails kept coming more and more childish making me feel like I am a total moron for ever wanting to try something for myself.  I would take my time to respond since I wanted to be the bigger person. She makes this very hard for me. My mom does not deal well with change she has no control over well, and makes me feel horrible for me.