DailyFreakOut


Want to leave a Comment? In order to leave a comment on posts, please click the title, and scroll down to the comment box.

Celebrating Two Years in LA

August 18, 2011
My boyfriend surprised me with an amazing dinner at Akasha to celebrate my 2nd year in Los Angeles.



 

Two Year Anniversary

August 18, 2011



Two years ago August 15th I moved from NY to LA. These two years have flown, each day seems to come and go faster than the day before. It is so hard to believe I have been away from my home for 2 years, away from my mom, and my friends for 2 years. It took everything I had to pick up and follow a dream I had for 30 years. Now I have been here for two years. It’s almost surreal. 


I remember August 15, 2009 like it was yesterday. I woke up, thinking this is my last day living in NY. I am moving. There was a calm, almost relaxing feeling. I knew this move was right. I had wanted to do this for 30 years. It was now or never, and now was finally here.  Ali was more freaked out than I was. She was lying next to the toilet bowl, while I was trying to put her harness on.  Jennevieve arrived to pick me up, early in the morning to take me to the airport. She was more anxious than I was. I remember her saying, “You are moving today! You aren’t nervous?” “No,” I said, “I am surprisingly calm. I know this is right.” I was thanking God, since I was worried I would wake up the morning of the move, freaking out, wondering what I was doing. Thankfully this didn’t happen.   
 
Moving Day went off nearly perfectly on the NY end. There were the some issues in the airport, but nothing worth mentioning. I was so pleasantly surprised Ali was amazing going through security, flying, and being in her carrier for so many hours.  I was picked up by a friend, who brought me to my apartment on Miracle Mile, not in West Hollywood as I was told, I found a tiny apartment without electricity.  To my shock the electricity was not turned on. I found out the hard way you need to call the LADWP to turn on the power before you move in. In all my apartments in NY, the power was on when you moved in. You had to call the power company to change the contact information, not the case in California. I moved in on Saturday, and the power was on by Monday morning. Very soon after this the roaches began to appear, and 3 weeks after I moved to the real West Hollywood to Heaven Gardner.  

The first few Saturdays were hard, always sad and depressed wondering if I made the right decision. I hadn’t had many friends, which made everything so much worse. Slowly, I made friends, Saturdays became easier and I was less depressed.

Looking back on the first year was very hard, emotionally and physically. I missed home terribly at times, wondered more times than I can count what am I doing. While I loved being in LA, the first year was so tough. I wanted space from my family but when push came to shove, 2500 miles was way too much space.  I was used to seeing my best friend’s from HS and my mom every 6-8 weeks. Now I was going a minimum of 4 months, but most likely would be 6 months between each visit. There were many times I cried, FREAKING OUT, missing home, but wiped those tears, stopped feeling depressed, and remembered I wanted to be in Los Angeles.

It took me ten months to get my first job in LA. I worked for Alta Hollywood, and soon after took a job at CheckAlt. CheckAlt was not always the best experience but I met some of the most amazing people there including my boyfriend.

It took me a stubborn year and a half to break down and get a car. For anyone who knows LA, living here without a car for that long was nearly impossible. I walked miles, and miles, took the bus, had great friends who gave me rides, and got lost almost every day.  On March 26, 2011 after a year and a half of walking I got a car, the used car of my dreams a black, ’96 BMW 328ic. With all the annoyances that come with having a car, I loved that car. The luck I have, which seems to be awful lately, I got into an accident 3 months after finding my dream car. I was hopeful the car would not be totaled since (I felt in all my knowledge in cars), the damage didn’t look that bad. That hope was killed a 5 days after the accident, and my baby was totaled.  It still breaks my heart to think about it. The BMW feels like it was a dream.  I guess I can be positive and be thankful that at least I was not at fault for the accident, and got what I paid for the car. I was dead bent on getting the same car. I was so upset I only had 3 months with my dream car. I could not think of getting anything else. That changed when I realized going back to not having a car was nearly impossible. I became so dependent on my car, and not walking living without a car, became impossible for me.  I broke down and got a ’91 Toyota Celica convertible for two reasons: it was a great price, and the BMW 328ic was going for double what I paid for it. I could not bring myself to pay anything more than what I paid for a ’96 car.  I am hopeful I will get back in a BMW convertible within the year.


 

Over the past two years I have gone through many changes both physical and mental.  Gone is the Jersey curly do, the weight and most of the Jersey accident. (I can’t deny it comes out when I am drinking or am mad!) I have lost 20 pounds, gain 10 and am in the process of losing that again. My attitude is less NJ and more calm and go with the flow, so I think. :-)

I have had the most difficult time making new girlfriends. Once you are in your 30’s, out of school, it is much harder to find those deep friendships you build when you grow up together. I have made friends, a decent amount for the time I have lived here but I have yet to find a best girlfriend. My boyfriend is without a doubt my best friend but I still yearn for that best girlfriend I had in NJ/NY.



Ali-Cat passed away, almost a year ago. She was always by my side which made her passing so much harder, and made me miss home that much more. I still miss her all the time, think about, and am thankful she isn’t suffering anymore. It took me much longer than I expected to be ready to get a new addition; about a month ago I found my new kitten Zoe Madison. Zoe is beyond adorable, loving, caring, everything anyone would want in a kitten. She has a huge heart, loves me to death, and always needs to be by my side.



Over the last two years I have live here there are many things I miss greatly. I miss seeing my best friend’s children growing up. I miss Megan and Grace talking, learning and exploring. I miss them more and more each time I see pictures of them. I have missed nearly everything of their brother Brandon’s first 2 years. I am missing Bailey, Chloe, and all the other little babies who have recently been born or are on their way. I miss seeing my friends, happy hours, picnics, hanging out in Central park, etc. But most of all I miss seeing my mom. The biggest regret I have with moving this far away is that my mom is alone most of the time. I can see now that a large part of me moving here was very selfish, and that is something I wish was not the case.

 

Overall, I am very happy I moved to see where things fell. The first few years had ups and downs. I learned a ton about myself. I am stronger, braver, and more independent than I ever thought. I am so proud for making this move and finally not listening to anyone. I never wanted to regret not moving here. Now I know I won’t. I can’t wait to see where my third year leads. I am sure it will be awesome no matter what happens.   

 

Zoe! Zoe! Zoe!

August 12, 2011

It’s been 3 week since I took home Zoe Madison. She has really become a wonderful part of my life, fitting in right away. I fell in love with her the moment I held her and knew she was coming home! From what I have seen Zoe has equally fallen in love with me. She follows me everywhere I go, sits on my lap, and cuddles with me. She needs to be right near me all the time. It’s so cute. She has the best personality, very friendly, and loving. There is nothing about this cat not to love!   




 

New Addition

July 19, 2011
Happily announce the newest member of my family. . .

Zoe Madison

Born May 15, 2011

  

 
 

Fabulous Birthday.

June 11, 2011
My birthday came, went and was everything I wanted and more!

My mom arrived in Los Angeles two days before my birthday. I was so excited to see her, and happy for her to finally meet my amazing boyfriend. Having my mom here was enough of a birthday present but I knew more was in store. Alex had planned a lovely family brunch on my birthday day at Moonshadows in Malibu, right on the water.  We sat outside, breathing in the fresh air, and eating the amazing food. I felt like such a princess.  Everyone seemed to really enjoy Moonshadows. It was perfect, everything I had wanted, and I have my boyfriend to thank for that.

 

 


Brunch lead to drinks at Shutters in Santa Monica with my mom, Alex and my friend Amanda joined for more laughs, and memories. 


 The birthday festivities continued the next day with my friend’s celebration in Hollywood.




 

May, oh Fabulous May!

May 19, 2011

In one week, my mom will be visiting me for 10 days! I can't wait! I have not seen her since I was last home in February. May has always been fabulous, mainly cause my birthday is the end of the month. I am excited all around!  Real Time Web Analytics
 

Mulholland Drive Exploring

May 14, 2011
Real Time Web Analytics
 

"Celebrity" Spotting

May 9, 2011
Real Time Web Analytics
 

Love

May 9, 2011
Real Time Web Analytics


It’s hard to believe I have lived in Los Angeles for a year and a half. I have had many ups and downs, but I know I made the right decision. I was meant to move out to Los Angeles. I always knew there was more for me then living in New York and New Jersey. Something was always pushing me out West. When I was a kid my dream was to move to Los Angeles to be close to my grandma and great aunt. I wanted to be a doctor and make my grandma better. By the time I got to know my grandma, she was very sick with emphysema. All I wanted to do as a kid was move closer, become a doctor and make her all better. Sadly my grandma passed away long before I was old enough to move, take care of her or become a doctor. Even after she was gone, I could think of nothing else but moving to Los Angeles.

Without a second thought I wanted to go to LA for college. UCLA was my first choice after falling head over heels in love with it when I went to visit with my father when I was 16. My mom put her foot down. I had to go within the tri-state area, no planes, so no UCLA, no CA. I was determined to get to LA somehow, no matter what. As you know if you have been reading this blog it was a back and forth decision but finally I made my way to Los Angeles. I always knew something was here pulling me this way. I thought it was the experience to be fully on my own, to explore a world I had only semi knew, to be me 100% and no one else. 

Throughout my time in Los Angeles I have met some amazing friends. Friends who have embraced me from the moment they met me like my dear friend Lilly. My ex-bf took me to a house party after our first date, when I met Lilly. I was so awkward and nervous on a date with a dude I only knew a few days. Lilly was so warming, loving, and open to me. We exchanged numbers. Instantly became friends! Then there was Mo who I met at Jeremy’s birthday party. She has always includes me.   Then of course there is Paulette whom I met long before I moved. I was searching funny people on twitter when I found her. I started following her, conversing and great friends when I moved here. From when we met she has done her best to include me. Of course there is Mandy who I met at my last job. I do not know what I would do without. We have the best time together. Friends made this move that much easier. I miss my friends from home terribly but the friends I have made here have made this move so much easier.

The transition from NY to LA has been difficult at times, but I can’t lie. I know I have had an easier path than most. I moved here, and 2 weeks later I met Anthony who I dated for nearly a year. Dating Anthony as soon as I moved here definitely made the transition much easier. Even though I had some really hard moments, May for example was very hard. It was mother’s day and my birthday. I remembered crying over and over so much, missing home. Having Anthony made the first year easier. I knew that then, and I know that even more now. Towards the end of Anthony and my relationship I knew it was not going to work. It’s still hard to believe we have not been together since September and have not spoken since November.  Whenever you break up with someone it’s always hard, I do still think about him from time to time, wondering how he is, especially since he was my family here for a year. He has left an important footprint in my memory, of my first year in my new city. I will forever think of him, and wonder how he is.  I would like to hope one day we will be friends. We shall see if that is ultimately meant to me.  I know now I moved here to meet my current boyfriend, the person who makes me happiest I have ever been.  It's amazing how one person can change the entire direction of your life. Alex and I fit together like two of a kind and always have the best time together. I don’t know what I would do without him.

It’s truly amazing how things work. I dating constantly in New York but never found anyone I messed well with. I didn’t have a lot of patience for dating, and men. I got annoyed and I moved on quickly. Why wait and see? I was onto the next faster than I could second guess myself.  Then I move and my life changed for the better. I experienced life and love. I never knew what true love was. I never really knew what anything more than a friendship was. Then I moved 2500 miles away from my home and my world changed forever. I found lust, and ultimately and without a doubt true love and have never been happier.   
 

Lost No More

March 20, 2011

This time last year I was in a huge rut, didn’t have a job, and was wondering if I made the right decision to move to Los Angeles. I remember questioning everything about my life. I was wondering if it was wise to move to LA at 30, was it the best idea to move 2500 miles away from all I have ever known. I just read the blog post called “Lost” (March 2010) where I talked about how awful I was feeling, how many doubts I was having. I remember vividly that awful feeling. I remember seriously wondering what the heck I was doing here. I got rid of my life, to start over and follow a dream, but for what.

Now a year later, I am happy I kept this blog. As time goes on you forget how you were feeling, how depressed you were, how doubtful you where of your life, and your choices. It’s nice to read that and know how far I have come in a year. I have a full time job, met great friends, a fabulous boyfriend, and soon will finally have a car (fingers and toes crossed). Many of the things I was questioning last year seem to be resolved. I would not say I don’t doubt myself ever. I will say I am much happier. I can’t say I have all the answers, but I know for sure, I am not as lost as I was this time last year. I am so happy I am moved to follow my dream. Right know, I am not sure where my life will lead, but for now I am very happy being in Los Angeles. If things change and I move back to NJ/NY it was meant to be, but at least I know I tried to make my dream a reality!


Real Time Web Analytics
 

The Daily Freak Out ~ News, Entertainment, and a Whole Lot More!


Pamela This journal is dedicated to my transition from New York to Los Angeles, dealing with it one freak at a time! Be apart of my journey, as I come to terms with leaving the only place I have ever called home, the Northeast. I am onto bigger, better, and a whole lot warmer. Get ready to be apart of the experience I have thought about my entire life. This is my time. My move. My moment.
 

Make a Free Website with Yola.